Promises, Promises

Daaaaaamn, Bitchez!  It’s been a while, no?  It’s too bad you all don’t live with me, to get your fix of comedic stylings and swears on the regular.  I guess you’ll have to live with pining for me on the World Wide Web until I post something from time to time.  OH, you could follow me on Twitter, if you want…where you only have to tolerate me for 140 characters several times a day.  Until you eventually click the “Unfollow” button because you’re tired of me using the word “vagina” so often.

So, I’m painfully cognizant of the fact that it’s been a good 7 months or so since I’ve blogged anything substantial.  So many reasons/excuses, so little time.  Honestly?  I haven’t been feeling all that humourous or witty since the “Sad Time” (for lack of a better term) back in early December, and I really didn’t want to just blog for the sake of blogging.  Like, ain’t no one wants to know how pissed I am at the post office (I’m really not), or how my kid thinks the potty was some sort of torture device sent to Earth by Lucifer (he really does).  I’d rather tell you something that might make you laugh.  Or maybe cry.  I’m a bit of a ho-bag like that.  Also?  This “full-time working/mothering/wife-ing/personal chef and maid” thing will wear a sistah DOWN!   I mean, Hayden is GREAT for blog fodder, and he says a lot of unbelievably side-splitting things in a day, but I’m not about to haul ass to the laptop every 4 minutes.  I could carry around a small, spiral-bound memo pad, I suppose, but then we’re getting into Peter Parker comparisons that I’d rather not have to kick your ass for.   (Was he a four-eyes, too?  And the photography?  Not to mention we both like to have upside-down-makeouts in the rain.  I draw the line at the red-and-blue spandex, though.  Can you imagine the camel toe?)

OKAY.

I’ve had numerous people in the past month ask about my writing efforts, and it got me to thinking.  Sure, I don’t have a lot of “free time”, but maybe instead of creeping Facebook for 15 minutes, I could write a blog post!  Another shot of Sambuca?  Nah, I think I’ll write a blog post!  Gotta drop a deuce?  Might as well bring the laptop with you and write a blog post!

As shitty as this may sound, I’m GLAD that there are people that miss my blog.  I love writing, and it comes naturally to me.  And people seem to enjoy it and think I’m funny.  Or, they just need new material for their “I Hate Allison” Club.  I think I’m flattered either way.

The moral of the story?  I’mma blog more. 

Also?  I bet you’re wondering whether or not I’m sitting on porcelain right now.

xoxo

A